A very reliable source told me that they’re speaking English. I’m sure they’d bash your head in for even mentioning the English in their presence, but I still can’t verify my source’s claims that any part of the English language was used in the making of this video. I can tell you with some confidence that they are indeed speaking, breathing, and responding to outside stimuli. Everything else is up for debate.
Storage facility owners, that is — I’m not sure what you thought I was referring to. Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s just a joke. I know no one’s laughing, but it was worth a shot. I’d classify it as dead on arrival, but someone might have caught what I was pitching and chuckled.
You see, in the modern world of telling bad jokes on the Intertunnel, it’s hard to tell what will get a giggle out of people, and what will get the SWAT team sent to your house. I try to land somewhere in the region of getting disapproving looks from across the dinner table. Any further than that and someone might give me a stern talking to, which is the last thing I want. The trick is to be so vague and incomprehensible that no one actually knows if you’ve said anything bad or not.
If all else fails, just tell everyone that you were trying to start a commentary on the current political climate. That line works regardless of what the current political climate actually is, Think of it as a get out of jail free card for being a twerp on the Intertunnel. I’m the foremost twerp on the Intertunnel, so it’s a good idea to take my advice to heart.