food Archives - Page 5 of 6 - BSBFB

The Love Child Of Mr. Clean And Angela Merkel Weaponizes Confectionery Sandwich Cookies

March 25, 2013 aubuchon

Oreos make surprisingly good projectile weapons. Not lethal, of course, but it’s as good as a beanbag shotgun for crowd control. The rioter you hit will get an owie, and the rest of the crowd will stop to eat the Oreo, thus ending any street melee situation.

Of course the Geneva Convention expressly forbids using Twinkies in crowd control weapons. I can’t remember if it’s mentioned under germ warfare or biological agents.

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along. You can always find him in the front ranks of any mob actions where Oreo crowd control weapons might be deployed. With his mouth open)

I’ll Take Everything But The Oink, Thanks

December 4, 2012 aubuchon

My parents told me to stay away from strange men with coke-bottle glasses and huge knives that mutter to themselves all the time.

What did they know?

In Tomorrow’s Exciting Episode, Olaf Or Rolph Or Jan Or Whatever His Name Is Will Eat Rutabagas Using A Recripocating Saw. But Today, Corn On The Cob!

December 1, 2012 aubuchon

There aren’t enough toothpicks in the world to try this.

(Thanks to BSBFB devotee Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I Wish I Knew What Was Going On But I Don’t Speak Whatever Strange Tongue These Guys Do

July 21, 2012 aubuchon

Slo-mo makes most everything interesting. But gentlemen: Deadpan delivery. Look into it.

(Thanks to Gerard at American Digest, who knows that watermelon is the only thing you can eat and drink and wash your face in — besides Tequila)