Something seems off about this video. I just can’t put my finger on it. He’s got the speed down. The wheels seem to be spinning in the correct direction. The rain doesn’t seem to be affecting him, so that can’t be it. He starts mowing the grass about halfway through, but it’s likely that he needs a side gig and does landscaping in his off hours.
I’ve got it! He keeps making right turns. What a weirdo. Everyone knows racetracks only have left turns.
I don’t understand, why are they turning right? They seem to be making a slight left turn first and then a right; why are they doing that? I can’t think of any reasonable explanation for why they make both left and right turns. I know the Europeans do some weird stuff, but a track with multiple different turning directions is absurd. I mean, they call soccer football, and football American football, but this is crossing the line. They’re breaking international laws of some kind. We sorted this all out after we curb-stomped Fritz in WWI. No more large armies, no more invading France for giggles, and no right turns.
If I wasn’t so appalled by their lack of respect for everything good in the world I’d almost be impressed. They are going awful fast, and I like things that go fast. If right turns weren’t a crime against man and nature I’d say F1 racing was pretty darn cool. I’d like to see those babies make a few more left turns, though. Get them on a proper speedway, and then we’ll talk. I bet they’d really like the bits where they turn left, those are my favorite.
He got like, three feet of air that time — and then exploded. Now that’s how you finish a race. Actually crossing the finish line is so dull and predictable. Everyone crosses the finish line at one point or another. Even if you lose you get to cross the finish line and that’s bogus. Every car that doesn’t come in first, second, or third should have to do some kind of spectacular stunt if they ever want to race again. Crashing and burning counts as a stunt, so that’s always an option.
I’m not that surprised he crashed, just look at what one lap in an F1 car looks like. I can barely keep my car on the road going 45, let alone 414 hectares per hour, or whatever fake version of miles they use.
(Many thanks to Charles Schneider for sending this one along)
Well, the cars sound like sewing machines, but man do they fly around the track. Pit stops are borderline insane, too.
F1 drivers get all sorts of hot girlfriends, it’s true, and tons of money, and adrenaline rushes out the wazoo, of course, but they’re all going to have to live with the knowledge that not one of them could beat me home from work on Friday afternoon.