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Category: blows to the head

Future Gronkowskis

Future Gronkowskis

Ah, future customers. The BSBFB was made for these little guys right here. There’s a very good reason why this website has a category labeled “Blows to the head.”

Of course their parents can’t hold the camera the right way, or spell “its” properly, so it’s easy to blame nurture vs. nature for their predilection for blows to the head. But that’s probably a mistake. All men are like this, even if we can spell. We’re always on the lookout for ways to stave in our noggins for cheap thrills. And we always giggle while we do it. And like little Mr. Green Shirt here, we don’t give up the pedal easily. Because we may be dumb, but we know that it’s better to give than receive.

(thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along)

I See He Managed To Get His Shirt Off

I See He Managed To Get His Shirt Off

[Warning: Some salty language]

Remember, nothing worthwhile has ever been accomplished if you’re fully clothed. When our forefathers wrote the Declaration of Independence they must have been shirtless. They were flexing on crazy King George, and no one does that with their sweatshirt on. Little Known fact: Henry Ford used to walk the factory floor in nothing but his long johns. With the flap open. And  Edison would test every light bulb wearing only a wife-beater.

The Charge of the Light Brigade would have turned out much differently if they ditched the redcoats. They were fighting Russians, who are still the world authority on shirtless horseback assaults. The Nazis would probably have won WWII if Churchill didn’t attend Yalta in a banana hammock and a bowler hat.

Anyways, our friends in the video holding their own little plywood Olympics aren’t quite riding into the valley of death, but you’ll notice they did much better shirtless. Remember, never give up, never surrender. Until you do. But keep that shirt off!

Self Defense For Dames — Yeah, See? Dames.

Self Defense For Dames — Yeah, See? Dames.

My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I learned over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

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Karate: The Dane Cook Of Martial Arts

Karate: The Dane Cook Of Martial Arts

Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Karate Master. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Karate Master, he called himself Karate Master. Now, Karate Master — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.

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