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Category: basejumping

Flying Is Just Incompetent Falling

Flying Is Just Incompetent Falling

Flying goes against everything a human is meant to do. You have to be really bad at everything to be able to fly. You would have to be the sort of person who ate the gum off the bottom of their desk and called the teacher mommy in grammar school to fly. It seems like they don’t get the concept it all. We’re here on the ground with an obvious lack of wings or flying ability of any sort, and somehow there are still people who forget that gravity exists. Someone should offer night classes or something on how to not fly, or run a PSA about the dangers of jumping off cliffs.

(Many thanks to Gerard at American Digest for passing this one along)

Gravity Is Just A Suggestion Anyways

Gravity Is Just A Suggestion Anyways

This guy was about three inches away from making a LiveLeak video, but it didn’t pan out so he’s going to have to settle for YouTube. I can only assume he was hired to make a video titled “Basejumper Horrendously Rips Legs Off And Crashes Into Building”, but decided that he wasn’t getting paid enough to follow through. He still managed to drag his butt along the mountainside the way a dog wipes his butt on a carpet, so he got pretty darn close.

I’m not all too impressed though. Until he can do all that without spilling his beer there’s really no point in going on.

Remember Kids, It’s Only Illegal If You Get Caught

Remember Kids, It’s Only Illegal If You Get Caught

[Warning: Some salty language muttered throughout the video]

Everyone needs a hobby. Some people collect stamps, others like to crash tiny model trains. I often enjoy showing off my vast collection of headless Barbie dolls, but I digress. Tactically hurling yourself off a building is as respectable a hobby as any other. Nothing beats the feeling of the wind in your hair, the bugs in your teeth, and the sudden adrenaline rush you get from crashing headlong into a traffic light,  but —

I noticed that in the video description that our friends have listed the names of all their various attorneys and legal advisers, which begs the question. What on Earth would drive these nice rambunctious young men to hang out with lawyers? It seems that their failed flying attempts are not as legal as one would first assume. There are some matters of trespassing and safety that get brought up, but I’m of the opinion that gravity will sort them all out in the end. Getting past security is probably a lot more dangerous than the fall.

Where I Come From, It’s Frowned Upon To Throw High-Maintenance Women Off Of Cliffs — If Anyone’s Lookin’

Where I Come From, It’s Frowned Upon To Throw High-Maintenance Women Off Of Cliffs — If Anyone’s Lookin’


The true Borderline Sociopathic Boy isn’t afraid to look spiffy. At high-falutin’ dinners, we know which fork to eat our curly fries with, too. When we’re tasked with making a speech at a public function, we’re way too suave to write crib notes on our palm. If our memory falters halfway through a wedding toast, or a charity dedication, or a wake, we know we can always fall back on our innate charm, and toss in a joke or something — like asking someone in the first row if they know anything about real estate, then grabbing the crotch of our immaculately tailored pants, which break at the ankle just above the shoe, of course, and if they say yes, we ask, “Well, is this a lot?”

[Many thanks to the always stylish Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along]