It’s good to see that just because the Soviet Union busted up, the arms race didn’t end. Of course ICBMs aren’t all that useful anymore. They’re not likely to lob one at us, and we’re not likely to lob one at them. Their silos are full of mice, and some cleaning lady at the White House probably found our launch codes in an odd drawer in a waiting room, thought they were a Soduku puzzle that someone had already finished, and threw them away years ago. But we need to keep that competitive edge. We need something to strive for, and against heavy competition, too.

So, competitive speaker installation in crappy cars to play almost-music-like noises is as good an arena for conflict as any. And tovarisch here has upped the ante, that’s for sure. We need to get our top men working on this, and fast. Tang and velcro has already been invented, and the moon has had so many people trodding on it and leaving their crap around here and there that it’s starting to look like a rest area on the Jersey Turnpike. We need to drop any idea of mission to Mars, and get cracking on playing Fantastic Voyage at 165 decibels, stat.

Gentlemen, we cannot afford a dubstep gap.

(Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along. I SAID, THANKS TO CHARLES SCHNEIDER FOR SENDING THAT ONE ALONG. I SAID, THANKS TO CHARLES SCHNEIDER FOR SENDING THAT ONE ALONG!)