Do you have an Uncle Rob? I mean, do you have an Uncle Rob who’s still alive, and out of the burn ward often enough to pal around with? If you do, then you’re one of the lucky few. Everyone needs an Uncle Rob.

Of course, your Uncle Rob might not really be your uncle. He might just be that guy that lives in a trailer down by the smelter. You know, that guy that your mother told you to stay away from. That guy everyone says to avoid at Halloween. That guy with girls sunbathing topless in his yard all the time. That guy with all the gasoline, and a hankering to use it. That guy.

If you’re young, go out and find yourself an Uncle Rob to introduce you to the wonderful world of blowing stuff up. If you’re older, it’s up to you to become Uncle Rob for some unfortunate neighborhood kid whose father blew himself up already, and needs some guidance. Without your love, support, and mentorship, a young boy might turn to disreputable behavior instead of good, clean, fun like putting gasoline in the microwave. You know, like recycling, or riding a recumbent bicycle.

C’mon. Be a Rob.

[Thanks to faithful reader HJ Briscoe for sending that one along]