No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not an instrument.
The fellow playing the SpongeBob toy drum set is not a nobody. His name is Benny Greb. He’s one of the most well-regarded drummers in the world, among people who regard drummers. I don’t know anyone who regards drummers, but apparently they’re out there. Benny was something of a child prodigy on the drums, and he’s got a drum company sponsoring him, so he obviously knows what he’s doing.