What’s Sadder Than Eating Alone In Public?

What’s Sadder Than Eating Alone In Public?


This. This is. This is downright morose. Cooking for one is somber. Cooking lessons for cooking for one is ponderous. Microwave cooking lessons for one is woebegone. Cooking alone in public to eat alone in public. Teaching others to cook alone to eat alone in private, in public, is the worst thing ever. It’s more melancholy than four Good Fridays. It’s more dismal than a young pessimist, or an elderly optimist. More sorrowful than Joe Montana in a Chiefs uniform. It’s sadder than a bad country song, and more mournful than a good one.

Sad? This is sadder than a gas station hot dog.

[Thanks to the jolly Gerard at American Digest for sending that one along]

Look, If You Can’t Even Figure Out Which End Of Your Go-Kart The Propeller Goes On, My Mom Won’t Let Me Fly With You

Look, If You Can’t Even Figure Out Which End Of Your Go-Kart The Propeller Goes On, My Mom Won’t Let Me Fly With You


Is that the coolest little flying rig you ever did see? It would make a great mail plane for places where no one lives and doesn’t get any mail anyway. You could land that thing just about anywhere that isn’t underwater. It’s got big, cushy tires for bouncing along the interstate in short bursts, too, to freak out the unsuspecting. Then you could strafe any survivors. Lotsa fun.

It says the fellow designed the plane himself. Like you couldn’t tell by looking at it. Here’s his website: Bushplanedesign.com

[Thanks to our friend Casey Klahn for sending that one along.]

The Greatest Sound Ever Made By Humans

The Greatest Sound Ever Made By Humans


Those fellows with the powdered wigs and the pianofortes back in the day in Vienna tried to make the greatest sounds ever made by humans, but fell a bit short. The dinner bell comes to mind. That’s a really, really good sound, of course. The dulcet tones of the words “Open Bar” come to mind as pretty sweet, of course. “Hey, baby, I just got back from shopping at Victoria’s Secret” has fired many a endorphin receptor, naturally, but it’s not the best thing, ever.

The greatest sound ever produced by man is the sound of a Model T starting.

Idyllic Bucolic Cyrillic Scene Improved By The Splashing And Crashing Tractor Factor

Idyllic Bucolic Cyrillic Scene Improved By The Splashing And Crashing Tractor Factor


Somehow, I’m reminded of Kramer and Newman on the subway playing Risk. Ukraine not weak!

Anyway, fractured Soviet block aside, it’s still more entertaining than taking 2000 lefts and stopping at a gas stations with all the attendants in spandex uniforms every once in while. 

[Thanks to our friend Charles Schneider for sending that one along]