My name is ба́бушка, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of dancing that I learned over two seasons of of going to the best underground house music shows that Voronezh has to offer. It’s called ба́бушка Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to dance with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7gmbQ8KxM4
I can’t manage to drive to the corner store without crashing into something, and this guy does his entire route in 20 minutes without lifting his foot off the gas. I imagine that he drives the same way when he’s making a beer run or taking the kids to school. He drives fast enough to go back in time and pick himself up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uOxOgm5jQ4
Ole Beetlebrow sure knows how to make a hulking behemoth of a song. It starts off as you would expect. A little bit of tension builds into a soaring conclusion. Then he does it again. And then again. And then again. He doesn’t know how to end it, but he sure has that middle part down.
“Lift his chin up and put the knife in by the jugular vein, which is both sides of the throat. Push it through, punch it forward — you rip out the lot. Bit of a messy job, but that’s it.”
In that moment, he became the scariest person on the Intertunnel.