My name is Pahoyo, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of diving that I developed over two seasons of falling down in the shower. It’s called Pahoyo Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to dive with the strength of a boulder, the reflexes of a wounded duck, and the wisdom of a Filipino.
Ah, the eighties. It’s worth it just to see the high-tech animation of how ski flying works at around five and a half minutes. Cutting edge, that. Of course, it’s always fun to hear the dulcet tones of old pink eyes Costas, who I always picture in my mind’s eye sitting on a stack of telephone books. Hey kids, ask your parents what telephone books are. I mean, what they were. They had telephone books in the eighties. The yellow ones were filled with numbers that had something to do with a functioning economy, as I recall. We had one of those in the eighties too. Ask your parents about that while you’re at it. They’re right upstairs, on the first floor of the house.
Human beings eventually remove the fun from every activity. It’s in our nature. The Olympics are a great example of this phenomenon. Pretty much every Olympic event started out as some sort of fun, or maybe some form of productive activity, like killing people that looked at you funny, but they all eventually turned into a thousand pages of rules with Bulgarian judges deciding who wins.
Somewhere in the dawn of antiquity, a couple of guys dragging their crap around on sledges looked at each other and said, “You know, Grok, it might be fun to slide down the hill on our travois, and see who gets to the bottom first. Last one down has to gut the mammoth!”
Humans can ruin anything if you give them long enough.
Chicks Dig Guys With Skills. Bowhunting Skills. Computer Hacking Skills. Eating Pancakes With Nunchaku Skills…