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Category: National Geographic

You Don’t Want That — That’s Bad

You Don’t Want That — That’s Bad

I know that I’m way out of my element with this, but I don’t think boats are supposed to do that. Usually they stay on top of the water. Submarines are definitely an exception, but I don’t think an early 20th century steam-liner has any submarine-like capabilities. I’ve been wrong before, but I think that I’m pretty right in this case.

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Coyote Peterson: Honorary Australian

Coyote Peterson: Honorary Australian

Way out West there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Coyote. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Coyote, he called himself Coyote. Now, Coyote — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.

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Meep Meep!

Meep Meep!

[Warning: some salty roadrunner language]

Meep, meep! My name is Roadrunner, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of smashing skulls that I developed over two seasons of beating Wile E. Coyote to a bloody pulp. It’s called Roadrunner Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to kick ass with the strength of a grizzly crushing salmon ball-peen hammer, the reflexes of a cracked-out squirrel, and the wisdom of a roadrunner.

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I Dunno What The Hell’s In There, But It’s Weird And Pissed Off

I Dunno What The Hell’s In There, But It’s Weird And Pissed Off

You see, what we’re talkin’ about here is an organism that imitates other life-forms, and it imitates ’em perfectly. When this thing attacked our dogs it tried to digest them — absorb them, and in the process shape its own cells to imitate them.

Or it could just be winter in Western Maine. I can’t quite tell yet. Every time winter rolls around I feel like I’m staring in a remake of The Thing.

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