Imagine what you could do with a big lighter. You could start a campfire in mere seconds. You could also bring this bad boy to a concert and show how much you love the band. Or you could light all 68 candles on your mother’s birthday cake and cook the frosting a little.
Just imagine these things, of course. Don’t actually do them.
The Music is So Cool, Even the Desk is Gettin’ Jiggy With It
I used to live in a crowded apartment building, where I would blast my favorite Steely Dan records over the loudspeakers. I got similar results as this guy. The music was so loud the furniture was moving. You’d think this would bother the neighbors, but strangely, they never said anything about it. Eventually, I decided to do an experiment: how loud can I make the music before the neighbors complain? I’d turn up my speakers a little more every night, but still didn’t get any visitors. Finally, after five days of blasting Steely over the speakers, the landlord came over and said, “The other tenants are complaining that no matter how loudly they knock on your door, you never answer it.”
My name is Max, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of going off sweet jumps that I learned over two seasons of jumping over the octagon. It’s called Max Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to do sweet jumps with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
A while ago there were two brothers from Texas who were avid bungee jumpers. They loved bungee jumping so much that they constructed their own personal bungee-jumping apparatus behind their house so they could bungee jump whenever they want. Of course, they both had to work long, hard hours to pay for all the equipment, but for a while it was worth it. They’d work 12 hours a day all week, and then on the weekend they’d go home and bungee jump all day.
After about a year, the brothers started getting tired of working all the time and wanted to fully pursue their passion for bungee jumping. One weekend, instead of spending their time jumping all day, they devised a plan to open up a bungee-jumping resort, so they could bungee jump whenever they wanted to and get paid to do it. After some research, they discovered that it would be impossible for them to build their resort in the United States, because the taxes and insurance costs outweighed any profits they would make. The brothers were stumped for a long time, until it dawned on them: why not make the resort in Mexico? If they moved their operation to Mexico, government interference would be very lax, and all the building materials could be purchased for significantly less than it would cost in the United States.
Both the brothers quit their jobs right away and pooled all the money they had. The very next day, they were in Tijuana. They purchased a small plot of land from the locals and began constructing their bungee-jumping tower. During construction, the locals gathered outside the site to watch the brothers work. As the day went on, more and more people gathered until it seemed like the whole town was watching them work.
After a week of hard work, the initial bungee-jumping tower was finished. At this point, the brothers hadn’t bungee jumped for over a week, so they were dying to try it out. After construction completed, everyone who was watching the brothers work gathered underneath the tower to see their first jump. The first brother hooked himself up to the apparatus, and after all the necessary safety precautions, he jumped. He went down and then bounced back up just as planned, but after his first bounce, the brother came back up with what looked like some minor cuts. The second brother tried to catch him, but it was too late, the first brother was going back down for a second bounce. This time, the brother came back up with even more cuts and big bruises around his face. In a panic, the second brother started reeling in the bungee cord until his brother was back on the platform.
The first brother looked really beat up, but he didn’t have any broken bones or any serious injuries. “What happened?” shouted the second brother,”Is the cord too long? Did you hit the tower? Tell me what happened!”
The first brother says,”No, the cord was fine, but what the hell’s a pinata?”