Well, you notch one side of the tree, and then cut a slot on the backside slightly higher than the notch, and run like hell. This is generally when you trip, fall down, the tree splits in half because it’s a Siamese bole, and the heavy half lands on you.
That’s why we applaud this fine boffin’s efforts to add a nitrous oxide feed to his chainsaw. The sooner you get the tree laying on top of you, the sooner you’ll be done for the day.
And remember, as the Mexican logger used to say, “Buenas Notches!”
[Thanks to the inimitable Charles Schneider for sending that one along]
If you’re a script kiddie, goofing off in your cubicle until Lumbergh walks by, planning your zombie apocalypse or Life During Wartime survival of the fittest strategy, it may be useful to remember that if society does break down, you’ll be competing for food, resources, and mates with these fellows, many of whom do not look like they could even set up a MySQL database properly or other really intelligent and useful things like you can .
Good luck with that.
For Some Reason, A Guy Wearing A Goalie Mask Sculpted A Bioshock Videogame Character Using A Only A Bunch Of Chainsaws And A Blowtorch