You know, it’s hard to decide whether you’re going to be afraid of a bear. We were raised on Yogi and Boo Boo. They weren’t about to scare anybody. Ranger Smith was a little “off,” though. Something not quite right about that guy. I imagine he eventually got a job with the TSA to get in on all the frisking. Yogi Bear and Boo Boo went back to raiding pic-a-nic baskets in peace.
The same technique can be used on lions, tigers, social workers, and the elderly.
It’s not too difficult to pull off; simply look into the eyes of your unwanted assailant and show them that you mean business. You don’t have to flash a piece or tell them that you know karate. That’s a great way to get beaten up, because they know just as well as you that you don’t know karate. Even bears know that you don’t know karate. Sometimes the best way to get your point across is with a stern word and a hard stare.
Not only will your adversary be surprised by your confidence, they will immediately fear you. If it doesn’t work you’ll get your face ripped off, but it was worth a shot.
People need to be more careful, the pandas appear to be coordinating their attacks and going for vital organs. The guy in the video fought valiantly, but I’m sure they left out the part where he was disemboweled and eaten at the end.
Okay, I admit it: pandas aren’t the most vicious bunch. But they have bear in their name for poop’s sake. Being called a panda bear is so misleading; it’s like making a Smith & Wesson baby stroller or an Abrams throw pillow. You’d think that with a name like panda bear they’d rip someone’s face off every once and a while or eat a hiker or two. I mean, come on, koala bears are more threatening and they’re twice as cuddly.
I wouldn’t try to hug a koala bear, though — they’re just as bloodthirsty as everything else in Australia and they won’t hesitate to bite your face off and wear it like a fleshy Halloween mask.