The Dukes of Oпасности
Hazard, that is. The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys is way overdue for a session of laughing at Russians driving funny. Luckily for us, there’s an inexhaustible supply of source material.
At first, you begin to wonder why no one in Russia ever sees danger coming. To a casual American observer, the majority of these crashes seem to happen in slow motion. You can see the cars languidly drifting into the wrong lane from a half-a-mile away. Yet somehow, no one in Russia ever notices anything.
Well, they notice the crash after it’s happened, and they’re in it, of course. There’s usually a long pause, and then the Rostov-on-Don version of a Johnny Cash voice says something that sounds like, “Droodz lack yapenny droodzzzzz.” Don’t quote me on that.
Anyway, I’m beginning to think I should move to Russia. In Russia, everyone is a borderline sociopathic boy. Even the women.
6 thoughts on “The Dukes of Oпасности”
What we like about these is each one is a small story. Shorter than flash fiction, and all with a beginning, middle and ending. Don’t forget: action!
My mind tries to make sets of observations. They might be labeled lanes, or brakes, or speed, or weather. But, somehow I feel that the huge share of these begins, “have another pull on that vodka bottle, tovarish!”
“Speed and road conditions were factors…”
I assume vodka was a factor in most of these too.
There are hours of this stuff on YouTube. Watching them is a guilty pleasure of mine. In reality, these types of accidents are not as commonplace as they seem. Liability insurance means that unscrupulous clever people can get paid for being in an accident and, in Russia, dash cams were seen as a way to discourage fraud, so there are a lot of them. Some accident clip compilations include multiple views of some accidents.
That being said, there are indications that russians are not great drivers. The compilations include numerous collisions where the car about to be struck simply halts, instead of the driver stomping the gas pedal to get out of the way. Other incidents are caused by drivers refusing to accept that they cannot go faster than the car in front of them. The traffic slows down, the impatient driver swings into the other lane, only to encounter a vehicle turning left. Russian tire rubber is beyond bad and nearly everyone must sell the tires that came with their import and mount russian rubber on their rims to pocket the money. God hates Lada’s licensed copy of the Fiat 124 with as much passion as he hates mobile homes and american trailer parks, but He is less indiscriminate about how He destroys them.
In comparison, accident clip compilations from outside Russia appear to scrape the bottom of the barrel. A few spectacular crashes are padded with drivers failing to signal lane changes. There are not enough dash cams outside of Russia to catch all of the idiots. The nice thing about the russian dash cam footage is that, unless you know the language, you do not know how much they are swearing.
Hi Richard- Thanks for reading and leaving comments at the BSBFB.
Russkies apparently have trouble navigating the roads as pedestrians as well. Is all of this ineptitude simply the naturally occurring result of generations living under communism? Seems logical….