Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Karate Master. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Karate Master, he called himself Karate Master. Now, Karate Master — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I developed over two seasons of fighting in the Octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
There is nothing sexier than a confident man and his cinder blocks. A radical trend setter like this has to have at least a dozen groupies on hand at any given moment. This guy is welcome to join my Procol Harum tribute band as soon as he’s done being engulfed in admirers. Admirers of the female persuasion, no doubt. What a guy.
He doesn’t stop there either. His rippling biceps and luscious head of hair give him the air of a Greek god. He appears to have modeled himself after Apollo, the god of music, poetry, and Karate. Karate, of course, being one of his lesser known skills.
After all that he managed to leave us with a little kernel of knowledge to ponder upon. If you watch the video several times the message begins to form right before your eyes. A memo from a great man:
When in doubt, set it on fire. The first-degree burns make you look cool and sophisticated.