The British are a funny people. Part Norman, part Saxon, part Angle, part Dane, 100-percent crazy. They conquered 25 percent of the planet for giggles, they birthed the greatest countries on Earth from a little isle that barely shows up on a map, and I’m not entirely sure how they got so good at creating absurdly productive any useful people. Moreover, I’m not sure where all of those people went, but I know one thing for certain — they’re all completely nuts.
That’s not my department, says Charles Darwin. It doesn’t rhyme, but it’s close enough.
Birds are enormously stupid. I’ve felt this way for a long time, but I never thought I’d have the chance to express my deepest emotions regarding birds. I know that isn’t politically correct to say anything negative about birds, but they really have it coming this time. Want to know why I think they’re so hideously, absurdly idiotic? The darn thing says trap right on the front and they still fly into it. Absolutely disgusting.
As many of you may or may not know, video game consoles are for peasants. If you own a video game console in this day, there is a large demographic of people that will make fun of you until you sell that hunk of junk and buy something sensible. I too have fallen victim to the cheap thrills of an Xbox, but I found the light. I joined the PC master race. Not only can I diddle away my time playing pointless games, but I can also do reasonable things like go on the Intertunnel or make a spreadsheet. I’d like to see a video-game-console peasant try to make a word document on an XBone 720.
I’m not very fond of swords or anything, but they’re alright. It’s important to remember that those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t, which is more than enough of a reason to stay away from them entirely.