Why do all cello players make the same faces when they play? They all play with their eyes shut and their lips pursed. They twitch and bob their heads depending on how hard they are playing.I’m suspicious.

I suspect this is because an actual cello doesn’t make any noise. I think cello players are actually a bunch of ventriloquist singers who sing the notes while only pretending to play them. They’re probably all pretty lazy, too. They want to sit down, but they know singers have to stand through the whole performance. They probably invented the cello as a prop. Hell, some of them might be sleeping. They all have their eyes closed. How would we know? Look at the guy on the left in the video. You can see right through his “cello.” It’s got to be fake.

Cool song, though, bro.