Using power tools to make a Caesar Salad is a sound concept. Of course, if you’re eating in a chain restaurant, your Caesar Salad is already being made with power tools. Ever been in the kitchen in one of those places? It looks like a giant stainless steel machine shop. The cooks barely touch your food. If they didn’t sneeze on it, it really wouldn’t get the personal touch at all.

However, I did notice one glaring difference between your average Chipotle kitchen and the This Is Mythical power tool kitchen. Except for the cement mixer, all the power tools are brand new, and they look clean. And the cooks don’t look like junkies. Advantage Mythical.

So the next time you’re hankering for a hearty, wholesome meal, head to the strip mall, but walk right past the Panera, and head into the Harbor Freight. No one’s ever gotten the norovirus at a Harbor Freight. Fact.