Way out East there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Xavi Lozano. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Xavi Lozano, he called himself Xavi Lozano. Now, Xavi Lozano— he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.

But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Spain The Land of the Setting Sun. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice sunsets there. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what — after seeing London, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And mostly in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.

Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about Xavi Lozano. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s Xavi Lozano, in Spain. And even if he is a lazy man — and Xavi Lozano was most certainly that. Quite possibly the most lazy man in Spain, which would place it high in the runnin’ for being laziest worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell; I’ve done introduced him enough.