I’ve seen a few strange dogs in my time, but this one looks like he needs to see a vet. His fur is looking very strange, and his skin appears to be a very strange color. I’m almost positive that his nose isn’t very moist. Someone check if his nose is moist. This is a nose-moistening emergency!

Even his tail doesn’t look right, and I’ve never seen a dog with visible claws before. I’m beginning to think that this isn’t a doggie at all. Now that I look a bit closer, I can safely say that I have no idea what it is. It’s like a mix between a turtle, a Gila monster, and a politician. At least it’s safe, I guess.