Way out West there was this fella — fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of the Backyard Scientist. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. The Backyard Scientist, he called himself the Backyard Scientist. Now, the Backyard Scientist — he didn’t make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise.
But then again, maybe that’s why I found the place so darned interestin’. They call Honolulu the Big Pineapple. I didn’t find it to be that, exactly. But I’ll allow there are some nice folks there. ‘Course I can’t say I’ve seen London, and I ain’t never been to France. And I ain’t never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I’ll tell you what — after seeing Honolulu, and this here story I’m about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin’ every bit as stupefyin’ as you’d see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin’ like the good Lord gypped me.
Sometimes there’s a man — I won’t say a hero, ’cause, what’s a hero? But sometimes, there’s a man. And I’m talkin’ about the Backyard Scientist here. Sometimes, there’s a man, well, he’s the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that’s the Backyard Scientist, in Hawaii. And even if he’s setting everything on fire — and the Backyard Scientist was most certainly doing that. Quite possibly setting the most things on fire in Hawaii, which would place him high in the runnin’ for being the biggest firebug worldwide. But sometimes there’s a man, sometimes, there’s a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But — aw, hell; I’ve done introduced him enough.
(Many thanks to our good friend Charles Schneider for sending this video our way)