There’s something very satisfying about watching a yooper destroy a bowling ball just for giggles. I’ve always had deep, animalistic craving to smash everything bowling-related on sight, and my scores always reflected that. The man that looks like Saddam who rented me the shoes said that for really high scores, I should try golf.  I don’t have anything against bowling or people who bowl, so it’s merely a coincidence that I put toilet paper in that guy’s shrubs.

No one is actually good at bowling. People say they’re good bowlers but they’re lying like golfers do.  Don’t take that the wrong way; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being an abysmal bowler. I wouldn’t trust a man that could bowl, or who knew what an Oxford comma was. I’ve noticed those are never the same people, by the way. 

I’m not unreasonable about these matters. I still go bowling every four years just to make sure I hate it.