Me? I love plumbers. Anyone that can get a bowl full of finless brown trout to go away is aces in my book.

But of course many people have a love/hate relationship with plumbers. It may have something to do with their bills, which appear to consist of nothing but the biggest number a plumber can think of at any given time, regardless of the chore involved. Granted, they can’t think up a number as big as an ambulance-chasing lawyer or a vinyl siding salesman with a gold tooth, but they do pretty fair for guys with tenth-grade educations.

But bills aside, it’s the plumbers’ belief that “wood is strong” that usually gets everyone’s goats. “Don’t worry, wood is strong” is uttered by all plumbers just before they whip out a sawzall and cut out half your floor framing in order to get in a drain trap for you second floor bath remodel. They hack halfway through the carrying beam for the house to get in a tiny copper line for your icemaker. And whenever a homeowner questions them about removing enough wood for a high school pep rally bonfire just to plumb a sink, they all answer in unison, “Don’t worry, wood is strong.”

Or in this case, Не волнуйтесь, дерево является сильным!

[Thanks to Charles Schneider for sending that one along]