3 thoughts on “Why Does Everyone Have It In For Watermelons? Can’t They Shoot A Nice Cantaloupe Once In A While?”
One-time I put a hand grenade practice explosive in an apple. Does that count?
That was before the you tube era.
Why watermelons? It’s a little known fact that they are the deadliest attack fruit known to man. Nobody shoots cantaloupe because they are nice. Just look at their flesh: bland in color, totally inoffensive, completely lacking in vim. A cantaloupe wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it accidentally rolled on one.
A watermelon, though, it’ll go for the jugular, usually just when you’ve let your guard down because that nice green rind looks so friendly and refreshing. The red flesh gives it away – not for nothing is it nature’s warning color. Don’t let the watermelons fool you. They’d take out whole towns if they could. Assassins of the fruit world. A pointed stick has nothing on a watermelon.
These boys are doing a public service, really.
When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!
3 thoughts on “Why Does Everyone Have It In For Watermelons? Can’t They Shoot A Nice Cantaloupe Once In A While?”
One-time I put a hand grenade practice explosive in an apple. Does that count?
That was before the you tube era.
Why watermelons? It’s a little known fact that they are the deadliest attack fruit known to man. Nobody shoots cantaloupe because they are nice. Just look at their flesh: bland in color, totally inoffensive, completely lacking in vim. A cantaloupe wouldn’t hurt a fly, unless it accidentally rolled on one.
A watermelon, though, it’ll go for the jugular, usually just when you’ve let your guard down because that nice green rind looks so friendly and refreshing. The red flesh gives it away – not for nothing is it nature’s warning color. Don’t let the watermelons fool you. They’d take out whole towns if they could. Assassins of the fruit world. A pointed stick has nothing on a watermelon.
These boys are doing a public service, really.
When you’re walking home tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of loganberries, don’t come crying to me!
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