October 9th is Leif Erikson Day! I’ve been waiting all year for this one. I’ve been working on my parade float for months. It’s mostly covered with the skulls of my vanquished enemies. Don’t worry, I’ve also got big stew pots for boiling lambs and missionaries, and tubs of barley porridge for everyone!
Boxing was great back in the day. This was the greatest of the great, I think.
They called this the Fight of the Century. If you’re an oldster, it can be hard to wrap your head around the fact that it’s referring to the last century. This century has its own problems and satisfactions. Back when this fight earned its name, referring to the “last century” meant you were talking about a century with Queen Victoria and the Civil War in it.
Horror? These guys know true horror.
Don’t give me any of that clowns in the sewer business. A clown in the sewer isn’t horrifying. A clown in the sewer is just a smelly clown. Paying $22 to see a clown in a circus, now that’s horrifying. I’ll pass on being scared by a guy with a chainsaw living in a rundown house in the middle of nowhere, too. I’m a guy with a chainsaw living in a rundown house in the middle of nowhere. No one’s afraid of me. If you want to introduce horror into the equation, you’re going to have to tell it from my point of view. The chainsaw won’t start.
By Grabthar’s Hammer, that little boy is tenacious. Many children would have given up after a few tries, and pitched a fit. Of course not giving up and not pitching a fit is the purpose of his Tae Kwon Do classes, not breaking boards. Like most martial arts, Tae Kwon Do is more a code of behavior than a recipe for assaults. Here’s the five tenets of Tae Kwon Do:
Courtesy (yeui / 예의)
Integrity (yeomchi / 염치)
Perseverance (innae / 인내)
Self-control (geukgi / 극기)
Indomitable spirit (baekjeolbulgul / 백절불굴)
Little kids could use more of that type of discipline these days. Their parents probably need it even more.
You know, I don’t condone vigilante justice.
Pffffftttt. Who am I kidding? Of course I do. While I’m waiting behind you and your 34 items in the 10 items or less lane, I daydream that the checkout clerk will be Charles Bronson. I wish every third person was Clint Eastwood. Admit it, you do too.
It’s just that we have better manners than douchebags. We’ve been trained from birth to mind our own business, and go along to get along. We’ve been instructed that the police are supposed to handle everything, and if we take matters in our own hands, we’re worse than criminals. I have my doubts on that score. There’s a certain point where acquiescence makes you a de facto accomplice. The world only has so many cheeks to turn, and then it’s time for decent people to say enough’s enough.