Beware Old Man Strength

Beware Old Man Strength

The young feller didn’t beware old man strength. He pays for it. You have to watch out for those wiry old codgers, or they’ll sneak up on you. One minute they’re taking out their teeth, and the next minute they’re removing yours. You can’t take them lightly.

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Oh Hell No

Oh Hell No

The nopeness, it burns.

Don’t get me wrong. I ain’t no shrinking violet. I’ve been skydiving, for instance. And by skydiving, I mean I’ve jumped out of a perfectly good airplane. It wasn’t even on fire or anything. I just jumped right out, on purpose.

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You Have the Right To Remain Russian

You Have the Right To Remain Russian

You have the right to remain Russian and to refuse to use turn signals. The total destruction of wide swathes of urban roadside objects and other cars may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to crash into an attorney before colliding with a police car, and to have an attorney present, lying in the road or on a gurney, during questioning.

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