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Category: Russia

You Have the Right To Remain Russian

You Have the Right To Remain Russian

You have the right to remain Russian and to refuse to use turn signals. The total destruction of wide swathes of urban roadside objects and other cars may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to crash into an attorney before colliding with a police car, and to have an attorney present, lying in the road or on a gurney, during questioning.

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In Russia, Bear Eats YOU. Well, Actually, He Eats Your Cookies

In Russia, Bear Eats YOU. Well, Actually, He Eats Your Cookies

My Russian is a little rusty, but that shouldn’t matter too much. After all, everything in Russia is rusty anyway. They launch brand new nuclear submarines that are leaking oil like a 1985 Chevy Citation. I’m pretty sure they install the rust as original equipment along with all the other features of their mechanical contrivances. Then again, they set up bleachers to watch people play chess, so I’m not about to call them dumb.

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If This Guy Challenges You to Strauss at Ten Paces, Say No

If This Guy Challenges You to Strauss at Ten Paces, Say No

Or more accurately, say nyet.

Of course this is a Russian video. It could only happen in Russia. It’s not that Americans aren’t loopy enough to play Strauss using .22 LR ammo. We got plenty of guns. It’s just that no one in America can play the violin properly anymore. Tipper Gore said there was too much sax and violins in the music industry, so everyone took up target shooting instead.

Ask No Quarter. Show No Quarter

Ask No Quarter. Show No Quarter

Well, posting a good Russian driving extravaganza here at the BSBFB is long overdue. Video compilations of Russian car wrecks have a certain appeal that’s transnational.  Everyone everywhere likes to see someone worse off then they are, and everyone in the video is worse off than everyone.

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B переулок мальчиков

B переулок мальчиков

Not Slavic enough for my tastes. If they were squatting in a bombed out parking lot while wearing identical Adidas track suits, then I might be able to take them seriously. They have the hairdos down, but everything else needs work. No one is clutching a bottle of 100-proof vodak. They don’t even appear to have a 40oz handy.

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