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Category: guns

Do, or Do Not. There Is No Why

Do, or Do Not. There Is No Why

Why would you fire 700 rounds on full auto from an M249 SAW with a suppressor on it, in one continuous burst, no less? Do or do not, I always say. There is no why.

They did it because they’re borderline sociopathic boys, that’s why. They did it because they’re males of the species. We’re idiots, and that’s the way we like it. We malinger in the back row of every class at school except shop, where we malinger in the front row. We eat SpaghettiOs cold, right from the can, while watching wrestling. No reason. Why never enters our vocabulary.

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Farm Girl Shoots Guns, Throws Axes, and Shows Off Archery Skills. I Suspect It’s Not Followed by a Spelling Bee

Farm Girl Shoots Guns, Throws Axes, and Shows Off Archery Skills. I Suspect It’s Not Followed by a Spelling Bee

Hmm. Not exactly what sort of “farm” this is. They appear to be farming the Internet, mostly. I guess that makes you and me ruminant animals. You know what happens to them on a farm.  I can’t lay any eggs, either, so I might be in even more trouble.

But surely I quibble. Or Shirley I quibble, maybe. I don’t know Annie Oakley Sunglasses’s name. I don’t know where she’s from, either, but it does seem awful hot wherever it is. I’ve been to the equator, and people wear more clothes there than she does, so she must live on Mercury or something.

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I Love The Smell of America in the Morning — Smells Like — Freedom

I Love The Smell of America in the Morning — Smells Like — Freedom

My name is CarniK Con and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of shooting at paper targets that I developed over two seasons of going to the range every other day for a week. It’s called CarniK Con Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to shoot things with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.

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You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Kid

Light, easy to handle, and effective, the Colt model 1911 is the right hand of the Allied fighting forces — except for the Russkies and the Limeys. They use whatever garbage they can get their grubby little mitts on. They can’t handle the power of a man’s gun. Going into battle with any pistol other than the Colt Model 1911 is certain death. You might as well charge the enemy with a spray bottle full of gasoline and a lighter.

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The Moist Nugget

The Moist Nugget

There’s been a heated gun debate going on in America for some time now, and I feel like I should step in and offer my opinion. A lot of people have offered their two cents on the matter, but I feel like I can clear things up. While my opinions might not be popular, I’m speaking from the heart and that’s all that matters.

AR-15s are for big babies. There, I said it.

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