Back before the Star Wars/Star Trek debate. Before the Samantha Stevens/Jeannie dilemma. Back before the Morticia Addams/Lily Munster dustup. Back before the Ginger/Mary Ann contretemps. Way back before all that, there was the Charlie Chaplin/ Buster Keaton controversy. Who was the best physical comedian in the world? It’s still an open question.
You would never have any trouble finding willing recruits if this was your recruiting poster. It doesn’t matter if you’re organizing an army or a Mah Jong tournament. That picture sells, baby. It has everything:
- Indian motorcycles
- A sidecar
- A machine gun mounted to the sidecar
Other than three hots and a cot, no man needs more. That’s the four macho food groups right there, in one recipe. I’d join. I don’t even know what it is, and I’d sign the enlistment papers. I mean, I certainly hope they’re good guys, and they are planning on machine-gunning only bad people who have it coming. However, if they’re planning on running over puppies and strafing orphanages, I’d have to pause for at least five seconds before signing up to think it over. But I’d sign up. A man’s only human.
My name is Rex, and if you study with my eight-week program you will learn a system of self defense that I learned over two seasons of fighting in the octagon. It’s called Rex Kwon Do! After one week with me in my eight-week program, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man.
Of course, The Blue Max has copious amounts of Ursula Andress sideboob, so you go for that first. But The Great Waldo Pepper will do in a pinch.
Buster Keaton was to Charlie Chaplin what Gene Kelly was to Fred Astaire. Better; less famous.