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Author: Max Acie

The Movie With an Excess of Zeal

The Movie With an Excess of Zeal

Free Advice: Don’t try to win an Oscar for an adventure picture the same year that Lawrence of Arabia gets made. Don’t try to make any money, either.

So you get Marlon Brando to annoy Captain Bligh for you while he tries to decide what kind of accent a British person has. That’s supposed to put butts in the seats. But it didn’t. They made a real, live Bounty for the movie, and sailed it all over the Pacific, but even that didn’t help. Brando got a hot looking wife out of the deal, and bought an island or two, but everyone else took a saltwater bath on the deal.

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Your Daily Dose of Longboarding Butt Pucker

Your Daily Dose of Longboarding Butt Pucker


Those boys are rollin, I tell you what.

They’re on the wrong side of the road, which is the right side of the road in New Zealand. There really is no right side of the road when you’re standing on a cutting board with a couple of roller skates screwed to the bottom of it. The most interesting thing about the video is that there’s a bunch of guys doing it at the same time. Therein lies a point

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Can It Be 1960 Again? Pretty Please?

Can It Be 1960 Again? Pretty Please?

Before my time, but I inherited all this stuff from my older brother and sister. I had the microscope, the chemistry set, and oh man, did I have Erector sets. These are commercials strung together, so they’re full of marketing pitches. Let me clue you in. They didn’t begin to describe the awesomeness of these toys.

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Did a Grade-Schooler Just Drop an F-Bomb?

Did a Grade-Schooler Just Drop an F-Bomb?

So I’m watching this Rube Goldberg contraption. It’s the shizzle. It rifles through Newton’s wastebasket, looking for new Laws of Motion after the first three aren’t enough to get the job done. It uses hydraulics, and electromotive force, and combustion, and every darn thing they can lay their hands on in the modern snouthouse. If it’s available at the mall, it’s integrated into the action. The hammer blow to turn on the power strip and start the fan is inspired.

Then, after 6 full minutes of glorious time wasting, you introduce some sort of porcine progeny, a water balloon, and what sounds to my ear like an off-camera F-bomb, followed by a mumbled punchline that spoils the joke.

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