These Robots Should Be Replaced With Hot Blondes

These Robots Should Be Replaced With Hot Blondes

True Borderline Sociopathic Boys love robots. We don’t really care what kind. They can kill thousands with lasers, or one person at a time with crushie claws or regular bullets, makes no difference to us. Sexy robots are OK, too, as long as they eventually short their circuit boards and go on violent rampages. We’re open minded on the subject. But these robots are just wrong.

The robots in the video should be replaced by vacuous, unintelligent blonde women. Of course, the customers would be disappointed because even the most vacuous, unintelligent blonde woman in the world could be taught to mix drinks faster than these robots. They would only receive a short interlude of jiggling while the shaker was being used. It’s still better than watching a Roomba mix your drink.

The dream of automating everything is just that. A dream. The true trick to automation is to take away drudgery. It’s dreary to perform the same operation over and over. Problem is, these robots automate the part of the process that isn’t drudgery. It takes skill and judgment to be a bartender. You have to know when to water the thirteenth drink you gave to the same guy, and fend off a proposition at the same time. All while pretending to like the pigeon. I mean customer.

There’s only one job worth automating in that barroom, and they skipped it. Who has to load all the booze bottles, upside down, so the robot can do the easy part?

[Many thanks to longtime friend Casey Klahn for sending that one along]

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