Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2016 Atomic Doorstop and Alimony Parade

Ladies and Gentlemen, the 2016 Atomic Doorstop and Alimony Parade

Those are Lamborghinis.

The ancients believed that individual prosperity was a sign that God approved of you. In the modern world, a Lamborghini is a sign that the Devil thinks you have too much money. He figures you have so much dough that you’ll spend a quarter-mil on a car designed by eight-year-old boys and Italian men, which is pretty much the same thing.

As is usual with Lamborghini, these Lambos are driving really slowly, because the purpose of the car is to make you so afraid you’ll hit something that you drive at walking pace. These cars are like Nigel Tufnel’s guitar collection. They go to eleven, but he doesn’t want you to touch them, or even look at them. They’re rolling alimony for unmarried men.

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